Can you believe I was in love? It’s true. Years ago, I was in love with this amazing man. I was not in delusional love; where you think you are in love until it goes south and you come to terms with the fact that you were infatuated, but not in love. I was really in love. We thought we were going to get married. We were happy. Our families thought we would have our fairly tale happily ever after moment too.
Was he my prince? Did we get married? No and no. Did I turn into a pumpkin at midnight? No. So what happened??? God clearly had other plans for that amazing man, and myself.
One night…okay…it was two nights…after a few years of being apart, something interesting happened. I had these (two separate) opportunities to be ‘somewhat’ in the presence of him and his family. Reunited, and it feels so good? That’s clearly a no. On those two occasions, I had this strong feeling in my gut that I just didn’t belong there anymore. It was a sense deep in my gut that leaped to my heart that then leaped to my mind, that our time together was clearly over. I did not fit in with what used to seem so familiar.
I almost forgot about that gut feeling until the other day. There is this cute little salon that I have gone to for years. One by one the ladies have been leaving. My last appointment really was just that: my last. Why? Because God is clearly trying to move me forward. I got the shampoo pulled right out from under me as the next lady explained how she was leaving too. When I was there, it was clear to me that I didn’t belong there anymore. The flash back to my great love resurfaced. What seemed so comfortable and reliable was no longer, and my gut was telling me all along.
When staple events change in your life, it can be a real core shaker. That is why it is so important to know who you are in our Lord. Everything is subject to change except God. God is always good and always reliable. My situations may have changed, but God was with me through each event. God was even stirring up my tummy letting me know that HE wanted me to go in a new direction. I may not understand the new direction, but that’s okay, because God does…clearly!
HI lol its me again...anonymous
ReplyDeleteI just had to comment once more after reading this blog post. Its so weird how God uses you to speak to me. Your situation you just desbribed fits me to a T. Except I am not in love with an amazing man. Im trapped in a unhealthy relationship and delusional in thinking that this whole bad situation could work and he could change, and I could have a happly ever after fairytale ending. The positive is that God has been showing me a lot about myself that I dont think I would have know if I wasnt in this type of situation. Am I completely out of this situation? No. Why cant I just walk away? I dont know. But I do know that like you said God is working on me and has plans for not only me but the guy I am dating. Even though this relationship has shaken my whole world and cause me a lot of pain I know that everything is subject to change and God will see me (and him) through it. Once and Thank You!
oh and sorry i got on my soapbox and told you my life story...
sister in christ
Casey
Hello Anonymous Casey!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. Feel free to write and express yourself…soap box speech is more than welcomed. I’m glad you found comfort in this blog post. Invite God into every area of your life; HE will speak to you and tell you what to do in your situations; ask to draw strength from HIM so you can do what HE is asking. Enjoy your Sunday!